new add
2005-05-22
moving to new address..
http://giuber.blogspot.com/
bernice wished upon a star at 10:25 p.m.
=(hmm.. dunno why my pics and tagboard all missing.. so sad...
bernice wished upon a star at 5:49 p.m.
=)today quite a happy day. went suntec with my parents. went to repair my phone. but after waiting for hours, realise that actually its cos i set it to the wrong setting, thats why cannot zoom at all. went suntec specially for that.. but never mind lah.. go walk walk also fun. then went to expo metro sale.. then back home..
sch starting again tomorrow.. very sad.. i dun wanna get back my common test results.. really dun wan..
sfy coming up.. five more weeks.. very scared and excited. night practices will start soon.. though i know will be very tiring, think it is needed and will be fun. especially if we get what we wan, will be very happy and satisfied.. will think that all our hard work is paid off.. i like that feeling..
learning the full cannon hard now.. think its a very nice piece if i can master it.. still trying hard.. hopefully can quickly learn it.. then can play the whole thing if not very pek chek to sight read and keep stopping.. and it sounds awful..
i wan to watch m18 shows! i m 18 for one month plus already.. had been waiting for it.. to mark the great historical event.. me turning 18. but still havent watch yet.. mainly because no one to watch with. think if got nice and not scary one, i will watch it all by myself..
yawn.. so tired, couldnt sleep well for the past one week.. till now also.. poor giugiu has to stay up eyes wide with me too.. staring at the ceiling.. and my pink doll hanging on the ceiling.. thought of alot of things.. like how i will miss co after graduation.. how i will miss the guys in my class, in dhs, in ckps when they go army.. but too bad lah.. thats their fate.. no choice.. wondering what will i be doing after graduation, in uni.. or maybe ten years' down the road.. camy and i were talking about it on sat.. cos one of my friends have a child already.. and my neighbour same age as me is engaged already.. last time when young, never think that actually diff people will have a diff kind of life, heading towards diff dir. cos young, surely study.. but now gets older.. there are so many roads to take and choose from.. can just get married now.. of cos must be find a rich one to marry.. or go overseas to study.. or dropout to work and earn money for family.. think and think.. slowly go into my dreamland..
bernice wished upon a star at 10:18 p.m.
=)today quite a happy day though i dun see myself working on my plan.. seriously.. day after day and i m getting more and more out of that plan.. everything piling up.. really in deep trouble..
anyway, today had a fun day with pei fen, jia min, ghim yan, victoria and elizabeth. went to nus open house today. saw alot of my sec friends and pri sch friends. saw wilfred, esther, 4d girls, mayee... but actually dunno why we go there also. wasting time and half way through that science talk, we then realised that we are wasting time there, we should be studying for common test, so we all decided to leave. took a long time to decide. so dumb..
then went to tampines library to collect my cip hours. that lady very nice.. got that motherly character.. so not a bad day. =)
bernice wished upon a star at 10:47 p.m.
argh!haiz.. dunno why, feel like a grumpy annoyed old woman today. really, not in good mood. thought of the reason just now. its pms.. its really pms.. everytime like that. feel so sorry to those around me.. haiz.. so sorry..
dun feel like taking train anymore. everyday i will see those irritating people. totally disgusted. everyday i see all kinds of people competing for seats. once someone gets up, they will dash there.. response super fast. surely got five points for shutter run. really look very ugly. what a shame.. today even worse. got this grandma brought with her her granddaughter. once they stepped onto the train, her small granddaughter immediately rushed in with her grandma. they found one seat. after sitting on it, her grandma said, that seat better, so pulled her granddaughter to that seat but got someone else took already. so they immediately rushed back to the first seat. got this super nice man gave up his seat for the young grandmother. an old man was sitting in between them. so that grandma just said loudly, uncle, u move there. wah.. i was like.. what the hell. who does she think she is. order people like that. that poor old man just moved dumbly. really no manners one loh.. i was infront of them, giving them the disgusted look.. and they alighted after two or three stops. really hate taking the train, see so many awful things.. and some people, once they stepped onto the train, they will head towards one of the nearest pole if there are no seats. and lean against the pole.. u think wad, the pole got write ur name or u plant there one ah. the train already very crowded and u still do that, how are the others going to balance especially those small kid and elderly since not many people will offer their seats to them. some even worse, when u are holding on to the pole and they lean against the pole like no body business. hello? expect me to touch ur sweat ah. so smelly and gross. got one time i was leaning against that piece of glass near the entrance. and got those foreigner, a lady, just leant against the pole. but actually she is leaning against me also. what the hell lah. u cant even feel meh? all ur receptors on ur skin not working ah? go see a doc then. where got people like that one. i m not ur husband leh. lean on me like that. i know u will say u are leaning against that pole but u are leaning against me too. that small pole at the two person seats is not for people to lean against one if someone is standing against the glass there. its like no backbone like that. see any pole will immediately lean against it. whats wrong with all these people loh. argh... that time took the train home and its very crowded. got this man with the baby push cart too. then at braddel, its quite obvious the train its really packed, everyone cant even turn their bodies. got this mother and her two sons just stepped in, pushing others away. everyone was quite unhappy. really too much loh. then that man with push cart got pushed.. poor baby suffered a shock. after that the man infront of me got off and suddenly i was being pushed. one of her son just pushed everyone to as to get to the empty seat. so ill mannered! i looked at his mum and saw her smiling, so glad to see her son got a seat. he was holding to a packet of cocacola. those u buy from the kopi tiam one. got straw. then he started squeezing that packet cos apparently he finds the moving up and down of the cola in the straw very amusing. then he squeezed too hard and the cola spilled out and dirty my skirt. i was pissed off. i gave him the very nasty look. i was looking at him when u was doing that right from the start. he saw it and deliberately wanna show that he is very skilful. skilful right? skilful til u create a small fountain and dirty my skirt. dun care if he is a little boy or not. this kind of little boy not cute at all. his mother really never teach him one loh. then the man beside the little boy got off and his mum asked his younger bro to go and sit. his younger brother also did the same thing, squeezed his way in. what the hell lah, u cannot open ur mouth and say excuse me ah. whats inside ur mouth? gold bars ah. his brother was holding on the the cola also. after that the person beside them got off and both of them immediately put their hands on the seat. even though that little brother was sitting one seat away, he still put his hands on the seat across his elder brother. so ridiculous lah. one person put can already wad. u think the others like u, want the seat so desperately and trying to make full use of the amount u pay for this trip ah. so disgusting. then they started shouting mummy! come and sit! finally know that they can talk. thought they cant even open their mouth. so their mum happily made her way through all the people and sit on the precious seat her sons had booked for her. so english educated but yet cant read the sign that u cant drink on the train. actually u even cant bring in that packet of cola too cos its too dangerous. once someone accidently poked ur plastic bag of cola, the floor will be dirty and u will dirty other people clothes too. i cant stand the sight of them and turned around, backside facing them. that mum seriously doesnt know how to teach her sons, maybe she herself also brought up like that. basic courtesy also dunno. ugly singaporeans. no wonder we have this wonderful title. thanks to those people.
okiez, feel better now. but still pms-ing..
bernice wished upon a star at 3:46 p.m.
ignored..went to pet safari just now. thought going there will at least add some happy powder on me. saw this retriever lying there, behind the glass lazily. looked quite pitiful. so i play with it with my fingers.it just ignored me. so i continued. then suddenly he stood up and walked to the furthest end, and lie backside facing me. i was totally hurt. sobz sobz.. he just gave me this very dao and irritated look. sigh.. even a dog doesnt like me.. so sad.. and i m still sad over it.. told my mum and she thinks i m mad.
bernice wished upon a star at 5:56 p.m.
happyhaiz.. wad a sad day... shall not write about the saddest thing.. its sad enough already...
in the morning i was still looking forward to coming to school. but once i stepped into the lt, suddenly feel very down. yesterday was such a fun day. actually its last weekend.
sat went to dhsco concert. went there with my yangqin mates and juniors. very enjoyable. really miss those times together with them. then saw those juniors on the stage performing, really miss those times when i was on the stage with all the rest of the members performing. still get the "home" feeling when i walked around vch. the familiar alley where we always tuned and placed our yangqins. then went to have dinner with some of the tanbo seniors and juniors. as usual, yangqin will sit by themselves. but we had a very nice long chat. talked about all the funny things that happened to us, to others. talking with them is so much different from talking to people in my sch now. then shu yin and i went through the esplanade to vch again. wanted to watch the 7.30pm performance but that unfriendly uncle didnt allow. after that went home with shu yin. we talked about all the old times and other things which happened in the past. and also shared with each other our lives now. actually our problems are quite similar.
sunday went out with my parents. that was one of the most enjoyable sundays. went to tampines mall. then went to ecp. cos didnt bring phone along with me, so couldnt find them. borrowed phone from a very nice couple and called my dad. they were still waiting for me at the carpark in the middle of ecp but i was already at the end, nearest to dhs. dad was quite pissed off and said next time dont go to ecp already. pasir ris park better. ecp is so big.. and dun have specific loaction where we can meet. but he always like that one. gets angry very easily. then went to tanah merah ferry there. saw the water plants there. went to changi beach. it was high tide. my mum kept saying tsunami coming. but it really looks like a really mini tsunami. seawater will splash up. was standing against the railing and got drenched. three of us sat on the bench together. three of us hug each other cos its very cold. we looked very stupid but who cares. i was laughing there cos we looked like the pooh family. pooh bear, piglet and tigger. then went to find something to eat for dinner but was very crowded. my dad found a shop and immediately ordered what he liked. so selfish. my mum and i scolded him but he just ignored us cos he was very hungry. ya, was a very fun sunday. actually nothing much happened. just that i enjoyed myself at the changi beach and looking at the sea, suddenly thought of alot of things..
bernice wished upon a star at 1:47 p.m.
-first time reached home so early. and i went to sch today for pe and maths tut only.
thought i should let my cactus have some sunlight, so put it on my window. but the wind was too strong. blow off my cactus. all the soil fell all over the floor and my whole cactus fell out of that mini pot. got a shock. asked my mum to come. she saw it and pinched me. so painful. =( but she said that she haven pinch yet. sure got blue black tomorrow. and she started scolding me while she was cleaning up the mess. i cant put my cactus in my room anymore. but its the wind. if not my cactus wont fall off and dirty the floor. now my cactus is outside. she kept saying my cactus is ugly. very scared my little neighbour will take away my cactus. =( and giugiu was very sad too. she cried. and my mum said later she throw giugiu away with the cactus. =(
just now in the kitchen, i put giugiu on the bread. my mum scolded me also. she said later dirty. so was thinking ya, giugiu will be dirty. but then she said, dun dirty the bread. which means giugiu is dirtier than raisin bread. =( but it was quite funny.
then my mum wanted to see the photos i took with my cousin at my house. so we went into my study and she on the fan. then she kept holding on to the remote control, with her fingers on the on and off button, and waited for the fan to face our direction. then she pressed it. the fan stopped and she then realised she pressed the wrong button. i was looking at her all the while and was wondering what is she trying to do. so blur... but was entertaining.
bernice wished upon a star at 3:09 p.m.
>_<house at eleventh storey. my neighbour at tenth storey is a young couple. the guy likes to sing alot. yesterday was singing once i went into the bathroom to bathe. kept singing til i came out. my mum said," how come the tenth storey neighbour kept singing...?"
"got meh? i should have heard it wad. how come i didnt?" i answered her.
then there was a silence.
then i sang again for her. and my mum said yah, its this voice. so she is saying my singing sounds like a male. but i know she is not trying to tease me or wad. she really thought it was my neighbour. thats quite sad... eh.. very sad..
today quite boring.. every fri is boring cos my lessons are boring.. but pe was fun. played volleyball. and had lots of amusing moments.
was quite upset by the fact that my mum is washing giugiu's clothes today. no more new year and giugiu also cannot wear new clothes. the smell will be gone also. have to wait for quite long, hug her long enough to have that smell again.. should be aroma. went home and saw giugiu hanging on the bamboo sticks by some clips.. like crocodile teeth.. and out under the sun again. i knew it, my guess was correct. whenever i m not at home, my mum will bully giugiu. next time bring her to school more often. never see my mum hangs her huge pillow under the sun b4. not fair. and the pillow name is called mei er. its a she. my dad's is a male, called bok bok. my mum and i came out with these two names years ago. told my dad but he doesnt seem to care. but my dad's bok bok is not a pillow. its bolster. dunno why my dad needs a bolster. he doesnt hug it. he just put it on his body only. actually i also never hug my bolster. i m quite mean. i use it to cover the hole between the wall and my bed. scared lizards will climb up or i will drop into that stretch of hole but quite unlikely. only giugiu and my pooh bear will.
just now went to the mini park downstairs. quite boring. so crossed the bridge to tampines. found a new route to tampines mrt station from my house. was quite amazed. proud of myself too. actually i have this wish. wanted to take one day and walk around singapore. wanted to do that after o level. but was working by then, so cannot. walked along the small pavement on that eh.. benjamin shears bridge.. should be lah. the feeling was quite nice. then walked all the way to marina bay there. after a level i shall grant my own wish.. maybe find a friend to go with me..
tomorrow is the open house of the ite near simei. think will go there after going home to change after co. go there and see see. always see it on the way home on the train.. but dun get to go inside and see.
sunday going to visit eugene my dhs junior. he is hospitalised in cgh. in simei too. so quite convenient for me. dun like mosquitoes. all because of them, i got scars on my legs and hands and eugene might not be able to perform for the dhs annual concert. after that should be going qu lao shi'house to have lunch. long time never see her already. but very scared of her dog. still remember that time, sec 4, first time going her house. went to borrow a book from her for my mep practical exam. rang her bell and she opened the door. her dog was super excited and ran out towards me. i was so terrified that i just stood there, stoned and screamed loudly. the whole block can hear. qu lao shi came out and chased her dog into the house. felt quite bad after that. think i hurt the dog's feelings. he's so excited to have a visitor. but i just stood there and screamed once i see it. trying hard to not walk away when i see a dog. shall walk around pet safari more often.
bernice wished upon a star at 10:16 p.m.
finallyhehe.. finally finished downloading dunno what java script for my dad.. really finally. the previous time, i logged off half way, cos very sleepy.. tonight i tell myself die die also must wait.. so happy! finally can go to that website which my dad needs.. phew! but kept dozing off while sitting infront of the screen...but very happy now its done. =)
bernice wished upon a star at 12:49 a.m.
surprise surprise!!had a great surprise just now. was sleeping just now and my mum woke me up, saying my friends are here. so went to the door and saw le jia, toon li and wendy singing happy birthday song for me. toon li even baked a cake for me. supposed to be marble but it turned out to be chocolate cake. so i cut the cake and we ate together. after that toon li and wendy had to go cos they are going to watch the movie at lido. and they had got less than five minutes to go there. was touched.. even though they had to rush here and there and take a taxi, they still came. then en qi came. talked awhile with le jia and en qi and they left. they got the perfect birthday gift for me. a huge pencil case which giugiu can nicely fit into it. so i can bring giugiu to school without my mum knowing.. yeah!
really a great surprise. havent even bathed yet or changed. and i was sleeping.. haven washed my face yet too.. so was in a very bad state.. but really very happy. its the first time my friends come to my house to give me a surprise. its really the nicest birthday i have ever had. memorable 18th birthday....... =)
bernice wished upon a star at 6:04 p.m.
-i have learned to let go and not think of such silly stuff anymore. the power of turning 18...
bernice wished upon a star at 3:02 p.m.
-today not a very good day... first thing in the morning got scolded by my gp teacher for such a lousy presentation. not scolded but.. the tone is not happy one..
then felt hurt and was disappointed by some incidents.. tears cannot help but keep rolling down.. really sad loh. one of the classmates asked me why and i told him. he thinks its a very small thing.. guys are like that.. dun understand at all. went home told my mum and she also said the same. she even called me cry baby somemore.but i cant control my feelings leh.. sobz sobz.. feel sad when i know i no longer occupies that part of ur heart anymore..
went home, my mum nagged again. so was feeling super lousy. but after that we ate the greentea "guazi" together so quite fun lah.
bernice wished upon a star at 9:27 p.m.
=) =)so happy. today was one of my happiest birthday. i m eighteen already. can watch m18 shows!! hehe.. i wanna watch m18 shows.. so can feel proud abit.
yesterday after sch went to meet my primary sch friend yixiu. went to bugis v8 to eat. she treated me. full til nearly vomit.. but think her pocket must have a big hole now. even gave me present. i get back the same present i gave my friend. so funny! then went to take neoprints. had a great time cos long time never see her and go out together already. think got one year plus. there was one time we didnt really contact each other.
today received presents from my friends.. thank you chen li, brian, gary, yongqiang, wan li, pei fen, lin jun, yiling! and those who wished me. =)
after that went to meet my parents and grandparents. had a nice dinner with them. very happy to celebrate my bday with my grandparents and parents! =) =)
bernice wished upon a star at 9:43 p.m.
lalala~happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to bernice. happy birthday to me!!!!! =)
bernice wished upon a star at 10:18 a.m.
happy happy!yesterday very happy.
my family celebrated my birthday yesterday. went to eat swensens since got that income voucher. then went to watch movie again. so weird. never watch movie with them b4 and suddenly new year watched 2 movies in a row. somemore both of them never watch for past 20 plus years. and no matter how hard i try to persuade them last time, they will never go for a movie. before movie went to take neocards with the two of them. took one two years ago on my birthday itself. but this year is earlier. wrote my birthdate there, so the same lah. this time is so much nicer. the previous one is so dark and we are not really smiling. this year one is nicer. my parents was so amazed that the machine allows u to add stars, flowers, and write words on the card with that pen. got sound effect too. my mum finds it so amusing that she kept laughing. my dad too. they dunno where to look at when taking the photo and my dad stood to tall.. so kept shouting, asking him to lower himself. they also dunno what to do cos they never take this kinda things b4.. except two years ago. and we were so excited cos the machine quite fast. photo came out. my mum kept grumbling cos she looks very nice inside but my dad was looking else where and not smiling at all, so we didnt choose that photo.
then bought popcorn and watched seoul raiders. after that eat dinner together. as usual, we eat very very early. around six cos my dad was hungry. but as long as my parents eat dinner with me, i m very happy already. =)=)=) the happiest part is still the neocards which we took together. =)=)
bernice wished upon a star at 9:06 p.m.
why why whytoday quite happy.
firstly, woke up near ten am. think i never wake up that late for very long. finally can sleep til that time.
secondly, went to watch movie with both my parents. first time in my 18 years of life on this earth. of course is watch shows which they will like also. watch i do i do. really very happy. cos normally i ask them to watch movie, they will immediately say no and nothing can change their minds. so today, dunno why also. :)
then went to that marina south thingy. think its called hongbao or something like that. every year about the same. so nothing interesting.
tomorrow going back to dhs. heard mr tay is leaving for china. he is not coming back. was quite shock and sad. then who is conducting for syf? tomorrow is his last da zhu. so go and see see. get the feeling of being conducted by him back. though not very close with him, still feel sad. think i will cry. aiyo.. my tears coming out now already. dunno why he suddenly wants to leave also. haiz.. i will miss him. still got his pictures around. sobz sobz sobz.......... poor giugiu, become my tissue paper again. not say he is very nice, cos i really dunno him. but somehow, will feel sad.. see him for four years already. seen him on the stage, in LT, scolding us, cracking lame jokes, nagging away, forgetting to zip his pants, smiling... everything still so clear. haiz..
tomorrow evening got so many gatherings. got 4d girls, got dhs tanboyue, got so3a gathering.. but tanboyue asked me long ago and i agreed, so have to go for that. anyway, my class one and tanbo same place. but think my class one surely a mini outing again.. haiz, still dun understand why mr tay wanna go back to china..
bernice wished upon a star at 10:50 p.m.
hothot!went home and slept cos very tired. but i slept at eight last night. think cos i kept having dreams, so actually never sleep at all. and its bad dreams. had the same dream for last night and just now. scary.. dreamt of the same cemetary sites.. aiyo.. new year coming soon loh..
realised giugiu is missing. went around the house to look for her. finally saw her hanging on the bamboo sticks out in the hot blazing sun! got that three clips for clothes pinching her mouth there. and she is naked! thats ridiculous! took her off carefully, scared she will fall all the way from elevnth storey. carried her to my room. my mum there ironing clothes. she saw me carrying giugiu and yelled at me. asked me why i take giugiu off from the bamboo sticks. i said giugiu very pain, under the hot sun and got three clips pinching her. my mum says giugiu so smelly, must put under the sun to get rid of her body odour. but i said i like the smell, i dun mind. but she said new year cannot have smelly things at home. so i got nothing to say and put giugiu back to the bamboo stick. under the hot scorching sun. have to console her. after three hours, finally my mum took her into the house. helped her wear her new year clothes. but its the same cloth lah. didnt know she has got three sets of clothes. always thought she has two. the last set only can wear during new year. my mum so mean, hide her last set somewhere, i dun even know. but the last set of clothes dun have mouth for her. the last two sets have. giugiu was very upset. she cried. and u know what? my mum sitting beside, folding other clothes, laughed out so loudly at her. she said or-bi-good, giugiu cannot talk. so i hugged giugiu and consoled her.. haiz.. told my mum i wanna bring giugiu to school tomorrow cos my friends want to see. but she said no! she said my bag very dirty, will dirty giugiu. but actually giugiu doesnt mind. but think cannot bring tomorrow. my mum will discover.
went with mum to east point to buy vege just now. but no more vege already. so we took bus to tampines 201 there and buy vege. then went home. spent 4 hours there.. missed all my nice tv shows..
bernice wished upon a star at 10:32 p.m.
-fri after pe bought that desert to drink from the western stall. took off my retainer and placed it on the plate. finished eating, i put back the bowl and plate. was walking halfway with lin jun and somehow felt not right. something is missing. realised that my retainer wasn't in my mouth. i threw it together with the plate into that dirty container. ran there and opened the cover. saw my retainer inside. together with all those used western plates and desert bowls. so smelly somemore. luckily one of my classmates took it out for me. cos his hands longer. but really nice of him lah. its really quite yucky. somemore is my retainer.
i dun like retainer. so troublesome. have to take out when i eat. and quite disgusting also. because of it, i went back to the dental three times. and it cuts into my tongue. stupid retainer.
later going to buy new year stuff for my aunties. every year has to spend so much cos my dad is the second eldest son and he has got ten sisters. so i got ten aunties. and each of them gives birth to at least two. my seventh aunt got four kids. but some dun have kids lah. in total i got around 18 cousins from my aunt. and and 8 from my uncles. total is 26 cousins. but every year see once only. sometimes never even see. anyway, most of them are guys. and younger than me. so even if i see them, cant possibly play hide and seek or power ranger game with them. think i never talk to some of them b4. dun even know how they look like now. kids change very fast...
bernice wished upon a star at 10:58 a.m.
evil flu.. i dun like u..sick again.. so sianz.. last time used to like flu cos when i was young, seldom got the chance to get flu. immune system too powerful already. but now i had enough already. i dun wan flu anymore.. really dun wan.. :(
bernice wished upon a star at 4:46 p.m.
scary .. independent..i m a dead lazy worm.. my mum called me that. somehow i like this name. si3 lan3 cong2. can imgaine it. like last time primary school book worm storybooks. but should be cuter lah.
today after co went home to sleep. so tired. so i slept from 3 plus to 6. had a very horrible nightmare. oh, should be noonmare. dreamt of me going to toilet. then heard shopper sound. so i looked around.saw the chopper moving up and down, making the noise. but no one is hoolding it. moving by itself. i was terrified. ran to my parents' room and told them. my dad still said its nothing, must be me seeing wrong things. so he went to kitchen and checked. then my mum and me saw a young boy, age 10+, tall, lean, fair, two front teeth gone, standing infont of us smiling widely. my mum and me screamed and ran to living room. dad also there. then that boy also followed us to living room, still smiling. then i woke up. very very very scared.. scared till i dun even dare to walk around the house. i was alone at home. every sat is like that. parents go out. the dream is so real. usually i will forget those details and how the person or whoever looks like. but this time i can still recall so clearly. really very scary. i dun dare to sleep now. very scared he will appear in my dreams again. how....?? sob sob.. think later i will put all my soft toys, hello kitty, doraemon, jack jack, sheep pillow, pooh face all around me, surrounding me to protect me. and hug giugiu. how i wish my parents can stay in the room with me. or my friends. sometimes being the only child is not good. if parents not at home, then seriously no one already. my friends stay so far away from me, except for some sec friends and pri sch friends.
quickly changed and went out of the house. at least see many people not that scared. then went home and yin ting asked me out for dinner, so went out with her and told her about my horrible dream. then dad came home and called me. so went home and parents were at home. but not more than half an hour, they went into their room and sleep. so now i m alone again.. sob sob.. :(
but i promised mr tay i will be an independent girl from 18th jan onwards. perhaps a good start for me.
bernice wished upon a star at 11:10 p.m.
. . .i am happy in my home sweet home. i dun wanna go to sch....
bernice wished upon a star at 5:39 p.m.
giugiu poor thing...came back from breakfast. put giugiu at the door for her to enjoy the breeze and see the scenery though she can see the floor and shoes with her height now. then my mum wanted to water the plants. but giugiu is blocking her way. so she picked giugiu up and threw her on the sofa.. giugiu faced down and all crumpled up. so i went to put giugiu to her correct position on the floor again. then i went to bath. came out and giugiu is missing. asked my mum and she act blur loh. went round searching but cannot find. my mum going to vacuum the floor. so need to make my bed and pack my stuff. so i threatened her.. i dun packed my stuff so she cannot vacuum. but she did it herself and anyhow throw my things. so no choice loh. went to search again and found giugiu. somewhere in the corner. sob sob... giugiu is ill treated. dunno what my mum did to her everyday when i m in sch. must bring giugiu to sch next time.
bernice wished upon a star at 11:46 a.m.
one week..almost one week gone.. not very happy actually. maybe havent settle down yet. these few days luckily got wan li with me always, at least got company. lin jun will be coming back.. today actually was not bad one. but going home that time not that good.. and become bad after that. still abit sick. hope will recover soon so i can enjoy my sat. sat no cca. maybe stay at home to do my stuff, pack my stuff.. can have sometime being alone since i will be the only one at home..
bernice wished upon a star at 8:56 p.m.
raining day..raining so much recently.. and i m sick.. from the kbox and free flow peanuts which each of us pay 5 bucks. yesterday ate fried stuff.. haiz.. now so terrible.. tomorrow sch reopens. so sianz. sigh.. raining somemore. maybe too sick, dun go to sch on first day.. hehe.. dun dare to bathe also. haha.. shhh..
bernice wished upon a star at 1:27 p.m.
mighty joe youngjust watched mighty joe young. so nice. kept crying when joe is trying to save the little boy on the ferry wheel. especially when the whole ferry wheel is going to collapse. joe fell flat on his back with the little boy in his arms. so touching! so poor thing also.. thought he really died. though i know most likely he didnt and i think i watched this show alot of times b4. but still very sad.. so i kept crying and talking to myself.. my mum thought i m mad. she kept on laughing at me. she is too cold hearted. always say those stuff are not real, man made one.. and he surely wont die. but sure will feel sad one wad.. really like that joe alot. so nice..
bernice wished upon a star at 9:33 p.m.
happy new yr!went to kbox today. celebrate xiao yi's birthday. went to buy cake first. settled the money and waited for her to come. but quite unluckily, we didnt manage to get the big room, got the smallest room instead. and the mic and sound system not very good leh. but no choice lah. new yr eve quite fully booked. then when small aunt went toilet, we prepared the cake and chose a happy birthday song. but the birthday song not the usual one. the lyrics abit funny, about love one. but last minute cant change too. so we sang her the song and cut the cake. dunno why, like got nothing to sing this time. maybe all sang b4, so abit sianz.. then we went hans to eat. xiao yi treated us. then xiao yi zang came to fetch me and xiao yi. accompanied him to have his dinner and we were busy reading forwarded sms and sending. help him to edit a sms too. then we just kept playing with sms. even until both of them fetched me back home and after i bathed, we were still smsing each other.. those forwarded ones. haha. so cihldish.. and they just kept sending that they dun even know the other party is also sending me that message. so got the message twice on the same time. they were laughing away. haha..
bernice wished upon a star at 12:16 a.m.
-went to kbox today. celebrate xiao yi's birthday. went to buy cake first. settled the money and waited for her to come. but quite unluckily, we didnt manage to get the big room, got the smallest room instead. and the mic and sound system not very good leh. but no choice lah. new yr eve quite fully booked. then when small aunt went toilet, we prepared the cake and chose a happy birthday song. but the birthday song not the usual one. the lyrics abit funny, about love one. but last minute cant change too. so we sang her the song and cut the cake. dunno why, like got nothing to sing this time. maybe all sang b4, so abit sianz.. then we went hans to eat. xiao yi treated us. then xiao yi zang came to fetch me and xiao yi. accompanied him to have his dinner and we were busy reading forwarded sms and sending. help him to edit a sms too. then we just kept playing with sms. even until both of them fetched me back home and after i bathed, we were still smsing each other.. those forwarded ones. haha. so cihldish.. and they just kept sending that they dun even know the other party is also sending me that message. so got the message twice on the same time. they were laughing away. haha..
bernice wished upon a star at 12:16 a.m.
kungfu!went to watch kung fu just now. haha. quite funny. but think can be funnier. the part i like best is when that bad guy's hair catches fire in the car. haha.. so funny. though my the other friend didnt really laugh and said that part not funny at all.. but.. who cares, i find it funny and laugh out loudly myself can already.. the show is not bad.. hehe..
bernice wished upon a star at 11:28 p.m.
new campus..yesterday was quite fun. actually not much feeling for the old campus. a bit lah. like the co room, the hall, canteen, lt, track etc.. all got my footsteps. think the new campus is really huge. will get lost during the first few days. and my best partner is not with me. she is better in regconising all the different pathways..
bernice wished upon a star at 9:52 a.m.
hello kitty ruleztoday went shopping with mum. shop for new year clothes. feet nealry split into pieces. so painful. cos i insisted on wearing that pair of shoes. saw a hello kitty bag i like alot. hesitated for very long. finally bought it. quite worried that my friends will laugh at me loh. cos seventeen already.. going to be eighteen in slightly more than a month's time.. still carry hello kitty stuff.. so kiddy. but but but.. seventeen not very old wad. dun care lah. i just buy it and use it immediately. hehe.. like it alot! =)
bernice wished upon a star at 11:12 p.m.
pri sch gathering..yesterday was very fun. went to yu yan's house to have dinner. her mum cooked. but very few people went actually. only, royce, sua cheo, kingsley, yinting, mayee, jennifer, me and of cos yu yan. after eating, we played zhong ji mi ma to finish the food. its really horrible. luckily i ate once only. have to eat the noodle, harsh brown and some other stuff.. eat til we almost vomit. then we played some other stupid games too. like the hands one. and some ting tong game which are really stupid but fun. we played snap. very fun. but school reopening soon..
bernice wished upon a star at 10:30 a.m.
christmastoday supposed to be enjoyable and happy. but guess i was tired.. the mood not there. but i still enjoyed myself. especially the pool with my cousins. and happy to receive so many presents too. :)
bernice wished upon a star at 9:57 p.m.
work worktoday went out with mum or breakfast..
went to work for the last time i guess. first time given a table. quite slow. i dropped two prawns on the floor.. panic!!! went in the kitchen and asked the chef for more. the manager was there. hehe.. lucily never scold me. feet aching now.. aching badly.. luckily my dear daddy came to fetch me. if not, i will just sit atthe station for the whole night.. cant walk home. will miss the people there if i really dun work anymore.. really..
bernice wished upon a star at 2:06 a.m.
friendship lasts forever..today quite interesting. woke up at 530 just to get used to it. if not when school reopens, think i will be dead. but after one hour, i fell asleep again. hopeless...
went out with my mum for breakfast then walk walk in tm. wanted to meet toon li and en qi for lunch. saw toon li and wei zhuang while me and my mum were walking in metro. they moved down to second floor. saw them sitting there, bored. then waited for toon li's lunch break. received my christmas present from her. =) nice strawberry clip! will wear it.
then went to meet dhs yangqin people. was late. but as usual, got people later than me. heng ah. waited at mac with pei jun, wei zhu and eugene. then mingli came. went to kbox but find it too ex. somemore the package is 2 to 7 and we went there at nearly 4. so we went to ecp. sat at the rocks and waited for more people to come. waited for shu yin and chiao luan.. til around five plus near six. we just sat there and talked rubbish, play games.. and get burnt by the sun. then shu yin came. we walked back to parkway and saw chiao luan on the way. went to han's to eat. hoi fai came. very full. but the food not bad. we had a log cake too. so really very full. very fun too. kept taking pictures and of cos some stupid pictures. really very nice and sweet to meet up with them. the feeling is still good and like last time.. =) actually think i m very fortunate to find all these friends.. like my pri friends, still so close together, my sec sch friends.. still keep in touch and good friends still.. =)
bernice wished upon a star at 9:12 p.m.
-today went to get more presents for my friends.. horoscope for tomorrow... Today someone will urgently need yours and only yours help. It may occupy all your day, but do not refuse, you are really the only one who can help.... wonder who is that person...
bernice wished upon a star at 8:12 p.m.
happy happy people..just went to dental in the morning. thought can take off braces already. but the consultant and dr poon said the retainer i have to put is those permanent one. so got to make for me and take my mould first to send to the lab. soooo... sigh. got to wait for two more weeks before i can take off the braces. change the colour to red and green for christmas. this will be my last set of colours. no more pink. trying to make myself like other colours. yesterday went out with camy and discover that i m becoming worse. everything i wanna buy must be pink. quite freaky actually. gave dr poon the christmas card i made myself with our pic inside. she is so happy and thanked me thrice. i m happy too.
then went to dr chan's clinic to give him the job shadowing report myself.. so can give as christmas present also. they were also very happy. and dr chan is impressed. so happy to see them smile. thought dr chan will say this is not a formal report.. please go home and retype. haha..luckily he didnt say that.. at first he saw me with the pink bix with piggies.. thought i bake somthing. but told him is my report and he opened it on the spot. really miss the three of them, so nice and friendly. quite bu she de that the attachment is over. but somehow.. everyone has to part with one another.. its just a matter of time. so got to adapt and the most efficient way to forget the pain is to keep yourself occupied every minute and every second....... Today the man, born under the water sign, can literally drown you in tears. So it would be better to avoid all familiar Cancers, Pieces and Scorpios.---thats my horoscope for tomorrow. so gentlemen belonging to those zodiac signs, please forgive me if i avoid u.. haha.. i dun wanna spend a wet wed or cry to sleep tomorrow..
bernice wished upon a star at 1:57 p.m.
ha ha ha..today not a bad day. went out with one of my fav girls. haha. went shopping. but didnt buy much actually. but we walked from 1 to nearly 7. played that game in arcade together. very fun. we screamed and screamed. totally dun feel like i am going to be j2 in a few days' time. hit my last finger and now got a teeny weny blood clot. at first very painful.. really. acute pain. but now okiez already. think later maybe use needle poke it. on the way home on the train, think we totally lost the image of a j2 student again. we laughed and laughed at what happened during sec 3 trip to he nan china with cco. haha.
let me tell u wad happened. that time cos tan bo got odd number, so i shared room with one of my fav girls since we same class. but that time still dunno each other well. so sometimes feel quite awkward actually. but so surprising, now we can talk rubbish together. so every night we will watch those comedies or if dun have, wee just see advertisement to sleep. and we covered the mirror in our hotel room with towels becuase we were so afraid. and everytime we entered the room, we will talk very loudly cos my mum says this is to chase away those things. so we really did. everytime we opened the door. and we talked rubbish loudly.
our room is just opp. the lemon tree guy. that time think he quite funny cos he has that blur blur look. haha. and we were saying that if someone in the co gets lost in he nan, it must be him. every night he will practise his zhong hu. haha.. oh no.. i cant stop laughing to myself now.
there is this time, before dinner, we had break. so me and camy went back to our room to sleep. then i woke up and see the time. thought should start preparing now. so i woke her up too. and we started preparing, bathing, changing.. after everytime, saw the time and think we were too early. so we went back to sleep again cos very tired. that time we had changed nicely already. when we woke up, it has already past our reporting time by some time. got a shock and ran to the dinner place. everyone happily eating there and we rushed in. got scolding and i got punished cos i had some duties i guess. haha. dunno why that time i suddenly wake up and asked camy to wake up too.
still remember that time just before the performance, i still cant play most of the songs like the four pieces of huang he. actually the whole concert mostly is that song already. haha. but just hun4 past everything.
still remember that time how we made fun of our teachers.. like my teacher who bought so many bags of sanitary pads there cos it is cheaper in china. but the plastic bag is transparent one. so everyone can see.
and how me and wei zhu sneaked out to go shopping taking taxi. on the way to my room, saw some teachers and quickly ran away with my shopping bags. so memorable.. hehe.. =)
bernice wished upon a star at 9:22 p.m.
presents presents!!!just came back.. tot today will be very bad.. not okiez lah.. not very bad.. but still bad.
went to get all the christmas presents i have to get.. so happy. finally dun need to worry about presents anymore and no need to shop for them anymore. =) but of course spent alot of money. but one of my friends said something which.. somehow make me ponder for a while.. he said," money can earn back slowly but friendship once gone, might be gone forever." ya.. true.. so must cherish..
daddy will be back at night.. think mummy too.. sigh.. dunno why seventeen already but still stick to them.. though seems like we are not very close but actually we are very bonded.. miss them..
bernice wished upon a star at 4:43 p.m.
alone alone...today alone at home.. =(=(=( first time in my life i am alone at home on a sunday!!!!!! usually sunday i dun go out with friends.. cos its my family day. but today mum went malaysia and dad went out. poor me. nearly cried when my mum leaves. but i controlled. not bad already leh. when i was a kid, i surely cry out one. haiz..
bernice wished upon a star at 12:52 p.m.
working day..very tired.. yesterday went to do that banquet again.. with gary and jason.. and jason's friend.. was late and they left first.. so impatient.. so i walked alone to fullerton. its raining. so when i reached there, was quite drenched. saw them and we quickly changed and eat. the dinner wasnt nice. went to report and that manager asked us not to be late again. yesterday gary and us were sent to different places. a guy brought us to where we were supposed to report work. but he also blur blur one. so we ended up walking around and about the same place. met manager on the way and he directed us. had to run cos it was raining. when we reached there, we were drenched again. me, auntie, another girl and one guy were grouped together and in charge of the four tables. so we stood there and waited for around two hours before the guests come.. by then the feet already numb..
there is this table of uncles complained that the table is not stable.. and he said.. so shaky for wad? disco ah? so went to look for manager and those senior to ask. but they said we can do nothing and just leave them alone. that few uncles kept eating and eating.. its buffet by the way. and kept drinking red wine. when i went to clear their table, that uncle asked me again.. "just now u say u will do something to the table.. but .. " so i explained to him that the table is not provided by us. then the other uncle asked .. what about the food. i replied.. should be by us. and he said.. how come the food so f***ed up? i was like.. totally dunno what to say. and they were all laughing there. so ill mannered right? after that the auntie asked me not to go there again.. they are so rude.. pieces of rubbish.. should be thrown into the rubbish bin and send to those garbage collection centre.. stay with those sewage.. let them choked to death.
one my way to the clearing point, a chef asked me where m i from. and i said singapore. he got a shock. he thought i m from china. haiz.. then he shaked hands with me.. reason being we are both from singapore. when i went there again, he asked me for my name and phone number. please loh, he can be my father already.. i should tell him.. uncle ah, u can be my father already loh.. even my father is better looking than you. think he should be sent to the garbage collection centre and stay with those sewage too.
jason, his friend and me stayed back to help out. so we took the free transport to our places. took the east one. and was the last one to be sent home.. so have to wait for everyone to go before me.. got scolding from my parents. cos my dad actually waited for me since 1050 to fetch me home. i asked him in the morning.. and totally forgotten about it. and he also never confirm with me after that. my handphone also not with me when i was working.. so around 1150 when i can answer phone call, i told him to go home.. he was quite angry already.. oops.. and when i reached home, asked my mum to wait for me cos i dun really dare to take the life alone. so my parents really nt approve of me working there cos if i m not home, they cant sleep also. haiz.. not a very nice day for me yesterday..
later going vjc band concert to support yin ting.. should be quite fun lah cos with my pri sch friends.. looking forward to it.. =)
bernice wished upon a star at 11:56 a.m.
shopping trip..today went shopping with my mum. she wants to start buying new year clothes. but we went out late.. thanks to me.. cant wake up. she bought shirts and i also. think both of us have gone mad. haha. she took clothes to try and me too.. we went to the fitting rooms opposite each other. and will show each other after trying. and we keep taking many clothes to try. keep trying and trying.. but think my mum more considerate than me. i dun fold nicely and dump everything on the table. but usually when i take out clothes, its like that wad.. i also lazy to flip it back or fold nicely. too engrossed in trying clothes, forget about the time. rushed to meet wan yi.
saw miss low at the orhard station. found wan yi and i rushed to toilet and buy drinks. then we had a hard time finding the correct bus stop. so was late for the concert. first time going to hcjc but cant see anything cos everything is dark by then. went in the audi and realised that we have to go by the front.. really front. so we waled up. have to find our seats which fangyi reserved for us. the first two songs too classical.. so nearly fall asleep.. i saw joan, ee suan, wenting and ya qi. interval time went to look for them. somehow i cant really appreciate those musical concerts though i myself am in the chinese orchestra. i know it takes alot of effort, time and practice to perform on the stage.. but.. dun really have any feelings leh.. for all the concerts.. like other sch co, band, drama etc. and this sat i going for vj band.. nvm lah.. support my friend!
bernice wished upon a star at 11:03 p.m.
sigh sigh sigh.....just woke up. went to 2j chalet yesterday and came back today. this year chalet.. i dunno leh.. but i dun think it is that fun as compared with those previous years and the feeling also not that good.. feel rather sad that i have this kind of feeling.. though we had fun and laughter still, sometimes i do feel uncomfortable actually.. sigh.. if thats the case, i wouldnt have gone for the chalet and realise that friendship actually can change.. quite heartbreaking actually.. haiz.. dun talk about this anymore, if not i will start crying..
had lots of fun and really enjoyed myself during the bicycle ride with sueling around the whole pasir ris park. she told me how she felt in rj and other stuff and i told her mine too. but cycle with her quite scary, cos she likes to cycle side by side and talk.. and sometimes we might get quite unstable and the pathway is not very broad..
think most of the activities are over and i can at least be at home to pack my stuff so i can find my worksheet and stuff and start doing..
sigh sigh sigh...
bernice wished upon a star at 4:34 p.m.
messy messy..today went to yec meeting.. just it there to listen.. nothing much.. kinda boring..
tomorrow got chalet.. maybe wont go for all the days.. gotta pay the entire thing if i go throughout.. maybe go on bbq day.. anyway, stay very near..
i seriously not doing anything.. even that job shadowing report and the christmas card i supposed to make for my dentist.. and i planned to do it on sat but its going to be monday in a few minutes time..!! and my mum keeps pestering me to pack my stuff.. everyday.. irritating.. today my dad opened my drawer and looked at whats inside with shock and disgust.. so he also asked me to pack my stuff.. haiz.. i dun like to pack.. thats why my mum always say i m very dirty, not like a girl, if i were to stay alone, my house will be like a garbage collection centre.. and all the lizards, cockroaches, ants will come and stay in my house with me... my life is in a MESS now.. so sad.. haiz..
bernice wished upon a star at 11:04 p.m.
hurt hurt hurt...so long never update blog..
yesterday was the nac competition.. my dad sent me and the qin to rjc. but too early. reached there at around six plus. the gate is not opened yet. but my dad has to go to work also. so i decided to climbed over the gate. my dad also. haha.. and one uncle waiting at the gate also climbed with us. that uncle very nice. he helped us to carry the yangqin over the gate. and helped me carry all the way to co room. so my dad waited at the gate. then have to climb over again.. but dunno how to climb over.. my dad cant possibly carry me and infront of all the aunties. those cleaners. they came after i went to co room. so i climbed the gate using those strips and ya, though looked very awful but dun care lah. my dad climbed also. cant believe that its the first time my dad sent me to school and we had to do such things.. and cant believe i m the student there yet have to climb across the gate to get into the school like some burglar. really nonsense loh.. and then i reached singapore conference hall more than one hour earlier than 8am. so sat at the staris alone, felt like sleeping.. but too scared to sleep cos i m the only one there.. and want to go toilet cos haven remove my bowel yet. wake up too early.. so haven gone to the toilet. but was too afraid to go to the toilet alone. somemore it is pitch dark inside.. not really opened yet. so have to bear with it loh.. really shouldnt have watch that shutter.. giving me all the wild imagination at times..
went to help siah hong with his individual com. get to see what it is like to be later. his mum so supportive.. think if i got any com, my parents wont even care.. as in they wont make an effort to accompany me and give me moral support there epecially if it is chinese orchestra stuff. they are just not interested in co. invite them to watch my concert once and they complained to me, saying the music so awful. haha. and whenever ask them to come, they will ask need money or not. my dad will say u go can already lah. of cos i have to go right? anyway, very happy that he got into finals. his sis also very cute and friendly too.. keep smiling.
then rushed back to sch for practice.. that alroy kept rushing us.. but actually we know is zhou lao shi lah. must be very pissed off with us. but no choice right??? was quite irritated actually.
saw shin yi and xue ting in the waiting room. shin yi from that ding xiao yan ruan and xue ting from payco. was quite nervous when we were playing on the stage. saw a few people sleeping.. got so boring meh? after that waited for results. the judges took super long and my dad was there to collect back the qin, so rushed down to carry the qin to him. alone.. so heavy.. nearly died halfway loh. cos couldnt find him. was carrying that stupid and heavy yangqin around, to the road junction to look for him.. and i missed the announcing of results.. we didnt get in.. of cos feel sad. but looked at others, they seemed quite okiez and not really affected, so didnt feel very bad afterall.. its over anyway. gain experience is enough lah.
went to eat at mac after that with the others. guess everyone was tired.. and i m tired too.. on the way home on t he train, really slept very very soundly and deeply.. really dun wanna wake up.. but have to lah.. so long never sleep properly and sufficiently already..
today couldnt wake up at six plus at all.. so woke up late and reached school to help co moving.. was deeply hurt and insulted by sebastian.. he really spoilt my mood even more that i cant help but cry. no one notice. but luckily wang yao was there with me.. and really felt better after crying out. really very hurt loh.. dun think i can forget what he says.. was just walking and he came to tok to me.. if i knew i was going to get hurt by him, i rather ignore him.. really cant forget.. my impression of him totally changed.. dun try to tok to him anymore, save myself from bring hurt or insulted..
the new campus is really huge. took a long time to walk to our co room from ri. after that walked with wang yang, victoria, elizabeth to bishan mrt. feel much better with them. rushed to meet yinting to trim my hair.. then both of us went shopping.. for her stuff actually.. her concert coming.
everytime go out with her, we are sure to throw face one. she wanted to get a black long sleeve shirt but the female one is too short for her since she plays the drums and the sleeve will be too tight too. so we went to the man's department and she went to the changing room to try that man's shirt. atthe chashier, she asked if the one she took is long sleeve. so that blur young guy opened up and checked for us. and yin ting said, " you can remove everything." cos there are price tag and those other tags attached to the shirt, hard to see if it is long or short sleeve. i got a shock when i heard that from her. and kept laughing.. and she thinks i m mad of cos.. again. told her wad happened and she find it very amusing too. luckily that blur guy didnt get the wrong meaning.. if not he will think we are some sex deprived girls... buying man's shirt to wear and asking him to remove everything.. felt happier and cheered up with her. didnt tell her what happened lah.. its over anyway and i was hurt already. so no use telling her lah..
bernice wished upon a star at 7:53 p.m.
miss miss miss...yesterday co was better.. think more effective also. and no stress at all cos zhou lao shi was not there. hehe.. so can just enjoy playing.. play wrong also dare to play loud loud and realise my mistakes.. so can change. then went to eat with a few co people at ghim moh.. haiz.. leaving that place soon.. few more days.. no more nice ghim moh food..
then walked to mrt with xuan yuan and thomas.. what to expect when u are with two childish boys.. and raining somemore. so we were chasing each other, hitting each other with the umbrella.. collect more rain water so can "splash" at each other.. and of cos i m the one being bullied cos girls vs boys.. got my whole face wet.. thanks to xuan yuan.. and we ran up the escalator in the train station.. see who can reach the top first.. and they kept laughing at my pink bear umbrella cos when the wind blows, it will invert by itself.. they are just jealous that their umbrella cant do this.
went to buy strings for yangqin alone.. spend eight bucks just for 4 packets of strings and 4 notes.. hope no more strings break if not my pocket will really have one big hole.
went home changed and went to exercise with yin ting. cos later going primary school gathering at seoul garden so dun wanna feel guilty becos of that. had lots of fun with them. though this time not many people.. got yuyan, may ee, yinting, aliah, mei zi, pei qing, me, huey shyan, fengzhi, kingsley and hubert. eleven people.. some went overseas.. yu yan came back from overseas holiday now. and her birthday coming so brought her present. shared by everyone.. my table was so proud of ourselves cos our steamboat has lots of oil from all the chicken.. look at the table beside us, saw alot of "chao da" black pieces and dried ones.. asked them why like that, they saw they are too lazy to take it out.. so become like that.. then got one waiter came and whispered to fengzhi, then walked slowly to kingsley and whispered to him, then walked slowly to the next table and whispered to yuyan i guess.. asked fengzhi what he said. " we will close at 945." dunno why he like that.. goes to every table and whisper to one person only.. and no use telling kingsley cos he is eating salad, beans etc only.. he said he wanted to go on diet.. waste his money. but that kingsley blur blur one.. so nodded his head after listening to that waiter.. dunno whether he got register what that wierd guy said.. after that went to play pool but one table only.. so some girls are neglected.. and they said they dunno how to play also.. so in the end some went home.. played til 11 plus near midnight.. went to mrt but no more train.. then we ran to the bus interchange, afraid that there is more bus also.. but someone is sure that the last bus is after midnight.. so we stopped running.. that kingsley ran ahead and told the ones infront that the last bus is now.. so those few gullible girls ran as fast as they could while the rest of us laughed at them.
really enjoyed myself with my primary sch friends.. different kind of enjoyment as compared with sec and jc friends.. we dun mind teasing each other and that kind of enjoyment is very pure and innocent one.. we just laugh as we like.. and very loud.. like no one is beside us.. no one is looking at us.. and really laugh til stomach ache.. that kind of pain is like u have done 50 sit ups. no wonder laughing is good.. haha.. really miss them.. think if i laugh like that with my jc friends or in school lecture theatre.. think they will just ignore me.. and continue listening to lectures while i trying hard to contol my laughter.. and very seldom laugh til like that with my sec sch friends.. dun understand leh.. same age, seventeen but why so different. though all of us, pri friends are seventeen, our friendship never change at all.. still the same quality.. same as primary school that time.. haiz... if only we were all in the same school.. i would be happier.. and that two guys also never change at all.. they also dun mind hanging out with these bunch of crazy girls.. they also laugh with us.. hubert still as nice as ever and kingsley still as innocent as ever.. especially his laughter.. dun see him like very strong, dragon boart, kayaking, basketball, when he laughed, u will know that he is actually very innocent and simple.. so his laughter always make us laugh too..
miss them...
bernice wished upon a star at 9:46 a.m.
scary scary..today as usual, went for morning and weekly sunday jog with my parents.. then went to the tampines round market to have our breakfast.. then went home. my dad went out a while and then we all went out together. went to this ulu specs shop. they both wanted to make specs.. getting old.. and i checked my eyes too.. not bad, quite happy, still in good conditions. no need to wear specs.. but why i still cant see whats on the screen during lecture and have to borrow from my friend everytime.. haiz..
then went to eat lunch at kfc.. the kallang one.. miss there.. saw geraldine there.. with her primary school friends.. then went to rochor to buy strings for my yangqin.. but it was closed.. waste my time and energy. then maybe tomorrow or wad have to go down again cos the com is on thurs!!! i m scared and worried..
then went to parkway best, harvy norman etc to see those all in one printer.. but there is no discount.. went to check out last week and best has a discount.. so weird.. so went to tampines best and bought it at the discounted price..
then went to meet my friend for movie.. shutter..think i shouldnt watch.. went there with my handphone only, nothing for me to cover my eyes.. and so coincidentally was sitting beside my two juniors from dunman..and that junior and i always met each other somewhere.. quite fated.. haha.. the show started.. and i screamed and cover my eyes with my hands.. but really very scary.. so i took my junior's bag and cover my eyes.. dunno why, both of them very daring.. actually i think the whole theatre, i m the only one who keep on covering my eyes. and i screamed the loudest.. even when it is not supposed to be the scary part.. cos i m covering my eyes and listening to the music and sound effects only. so whenever the music sound eerie or sounds like it is reaching its climax, i will scream suddenly. realised it cos i m the only one screaming.. luckily i was sitting low low.. no one can see me.. and my juniors began to suan me.. kept asking me how much of that show i have seen. told them 15%. haha.. quite true.. i dun even know what exactly is the story and some details. and told them i came here to enjoy the music only.. and finally the show ended.. didnt even know it til my friend told me. and my juniors thanked me for being so entertaining.. see how bad they are and disrespectful to their senior. and i returned him his bag. thanked him for his useful bag.. they kept laughing at me whenever i hide myself behind the bag and peep from time to time.. its not funny loh.. dunno why they are not scared.. seriously, i think it is scary.. okiez lah, quite proud of myself already, i managed to watched 15% of the show.. hehe..
tomorrow got primary school gathering at marina bay, eating steam boat.. hehe.. looking forward! =)
bernice wished upon a star at 11:30 p.m.
rushy day..today co okiez lah.. nothing much.. just that i wanted to leave slightly early.. like half an hour earlier. but anyway i said a little earlier.. the conductor sort of refused. so i stayed on throughout til the whole practice ends and quickly rushed out of sch and walked quickly. took a taxi halfway to the mrt cos i think i really very late. so that trip to fullerton cost me around seven bucks. but the taxi driver very nice. i told him to drive faster cos i m very late and he really speed. so it took around fifteen minutes to reach fullerton taking into consideration the numerous traffic lights on the way there.
reached there.. that security man refused to let me in cos i was late and he said his manager asked him to tell those late comers to go home. but i refused and said i took a taxi here.. anyway.. the training should be still going on.. called the person in charge and talked to him.. and coincidentally got a girl also late and it happens to be my classmate's friend. so my classmate came out and let us there. we were quite afraid to go in cos we knew that man was furious.. but i opened the door anyway, have to go in wad. apologised to that man and listened to that briefing.. ya, thats all.. went home, read my romanc novel, spellbound. quite interesting.. still reading.. at least more than half way through.. hehe.. will continue reading.. =)
bernice wished upon a star at 9:37 p.m.
busking..today not very pleasant for me.. went to dr chan there.. but was two minutes late.. and winy and dr chan left for the op already. thought usually they would be late for the op but this time cos a few patients cancelled the appointment, so they managed to go there on time.. so judy called the op people, asking them to pass message to winy. so i stood outside the door to the op. that entrance needs a card for scanning for it to open.. so i stood there.. waiting aimlessly.. finally got a voice. "hello? bernice?" i answered "ya." but no reply and action after that. i waited a while and tried opening the door but still cant. so i went back to the clinic.. judy was surprised to see me.. wad a pity.. she also can do nothing now since the op already half way through.. judy kept telling me i have to be earlier.. should be i wait for doc, not doc wait for me.. left the house an hour earlier .. think i should leave the house one hour and fifteen minutes before the reporting time next time.. so i made a wasteful trip today.. but enjoyed delifrance myself.. and bought this pimple moisturizer which the promoter managed to convince me that it is very effective..
the busking thingy also not that enjoyable.. didnt know is play on keyboard so not really used to it.. and the keyboard was too low.. they adjusted it cos some players are shorter.. think i played like shit.. haha.. anyway, no one knows lah.. really in open air. thought will be inside some shopping centres or some quieter place.. but its at the road junction.. so many people.. but nvm lah.. its over.. i get 4 hours of cip.. and got one uncle very nice.. donated five bucks to me.. and some two and some one. so singaporeans are not bad too! hehe.. =)
bernice wished upon a star at 11:20 p.m.
babies babies babies!~!~was a little terrified just now in the operation theatre. the doc just take the sharp knife and cut the woman's abs. blood flow out.. he cut out a piece of flesh and threw it aside.then he cut further, layer after layer and widening each opening.. finally reach the uterus and then the water bag. he poked a hole in the water bag and water gushes out. can see the baby's head and the doc took the baby out. dunno if it was a she or he. but its very small and crampled. it kept crying and crying.. so cute... but quite noisy also.. the nurses and doc trying to stitch back the opening but the baby kept crying there.. not helping his or her mum at all. so noisy.. the doc stitched back layer by layer. the uterus, the ads muscle and dunno what.. the fats layer then the skin.. quite amazing.. really like a tailor's job.. and quite beautiful when everything is done.. just a think line.. not very long too. the doc explained to me what layer it is.. like the fats layer.., really looks somewhat like the pig's..like the layer of pig's meat my dad likes to eat.. so the doc said the woman is fat thats why got such a layer of fats beneath. really amazing.. a baby actually is inside and growing and lying benealth all these layers.. quite speechless when i saw the baby's head and when the doc took out the baby.. but it must be very painful for the mother.. especially when she wakes up.. and just feel very painful for her when the doc cut her tummy and i can see all the bloody flesh and other stuff inside.. ewewewwww.. tomorrow going to see an op again.. taking out of fibroids i guess..
after that i rushed to singapore conference hall. was late actually.. reached there and saw other group. got my old dhs senior, one of my co members, and a girl i know.. they came soo early.. i was thinking this time really very throw face.. they are so early meaning they can hear what we play. and we are actually very unprepared and very messy.. but quite funny sometimes.. cos all of us dunno what is happening and where is the music now.. so suddenly there will be a silence.. and no one is playing.. dunno where is it now..no one to give cue sometimes cos zhou lao shi not here to conduct and give the beat. so we will look at each other.. and when someone played, its the wrong place. like a few bars lagging behind.. so all of us like dunno what is he or she playing. then finally someone tell him or her where then he or she will realise. then sometimes after we play finish, suddenly got a "poom" out of nowhere.. played by some other instruments.. so quite amusing.. but seriously.. the competition is coming and no joke.. think the other group must be thinking we canot make it.. but i have the confidence we will be fine in the end.. perhaps cant get anything but at least will be much much better than today.
tomorrow got busking at orchard orgainsed by piano ensemble.. gonna play titanic again cos i really dun have any more presenatble song to play infront of so many people.. haha.. and i never practise actually.. so no new songs.. think others will think this bernice only knows how to play one song.. and such a simple song.. haha.. actually i played since i was primary five or six.. always play the piano at the foyer in my pri sch. and my classmates will stand around and listen. quite memorable.. come to think of it, i really no songs to play.. dun like to play those difficult real piano pieces except for mep practical exams, for my own piano exams.. anyway, hope tomorrow will be fine..
bernice wished upon a star at 8:17 p.m.
op op opyesterday was so tired. and the singapore idol quite boring.. they just kept singing and singing.. cant wait for the results and went to join giu giu. received a message from dino.. but was half alseep already.. dunno if i replied her.
anyway, yesterday went to the clinic again to see an op. this time the feeling is better. as in the atmoshpere and everything. dr chan poked the blood cysts and blood came out.. there are 3 cysts i think.. all in the ovaries. there was one filled with thick blood inside. all of us got a shock when doc chan squeezed the contents out. it took quite long and thick blood, like chocolate toothpaste came out.. so disgusting! really like chocolate. and very very thick one. like jelly. the cysts must have been there for very long. i think i will need sometime before i dare to eat chocolate again..
after the whole op, a nurse asked me to go out.. thats the only not nice part.. she asked me to look for someone but i couldnt find so i just stood there at the counter.. and winy came out.. so i followed her..
today going to the clinic again.. will be seeing a small op. taking out a complete baby, not abortion.. is deliver.. so should be quite nice. =) then going to rehearsal at SCH. quite rush.. hope i wont be too late for the rehearsal and get scolding from any teacher in charge..
bernice wished upon a star at 9:08 a.m.
lalalawent for this interview with yuwadae, wenting, wan yi and ya qi..is telephone surveyor.. received a call just now and i can start work tomorrow. so fast.. the pay not very high though.. they count by the number of completed surveys u have done. and think normally people will think u are some bad people and not do the surveys especially when u do telephone surveys. received a call yesterday. its a guy called alvin. he also said he is doing a survey. and wanted to meet me so as to do the survey. but i think this guy is a bad guy lah.
went to dental after that. so happy. thought i can take out the braces today but she said still got a space between. so if next appointment the spaces close, i can take out the braces and put retainers. so happy. and she is very nice. arranged the next appointment to be christmas eve so perhaps that will be my best christmas present. =) but actually christmas to me is nothing.. quite boring.. go to my relative's house.. thats all.. no celebration.. hopefully i will have some gathering or something.. if not quite pathetic.. took a photo with her. she is very pretty.. from rjc too. so is my senior. hehe.. dunno how to put photos into diary. if not i will put all my photos. can keep as memory..
just now went to near by clinic with dad. he was supposed to go wedding dinner. so happily went just now, wear nicely.. and we even took photos with my aunt's digi cam before i returned her. but after a while, he came back in great pain.. is his stomach. he cant even stand straight. kept persuading him to go see a doc but he refused. but he finally gave in cos its too painful. the doc is soo young.. is a male. quite good looking actually but seems very inexperience. anyway, guess my dad is feeling much better now since he can catch lizards and ants in the house and he just ate alot of biscuits. haha.. but still cant stand straight..
waiting for sunday to come so i can get new printer.. we intend to buy those 5 or 6 in 1.. so can scan, fax, card direct, print, copy, pc fax too.. then like that i can scan all my beautiful photos into my com.
bernice wished upon a star at 10:11 p.m.
practise hard..today co was bad.. conductor pissed off today.. perhaps bad mood.. but really got scolding.. especially when i left for dental appointment. but hey, come on lah, its not my fault that i have to leave the practice for dental.. the doctor gave me this date and this time. she is quite occupied with many patients.. all fully booked by the time i went there to make next appointment.. she only has this date.. and somemore i went to that outram hospital, so under government and many students are putting on braces nowadays.. so really fully booked.. but was very upset when i came back from dental and joined the practice. once i stepped into the lt, i knew something was wrong.. there was another female teacher. she just gave me that kind of pressure when i saw her.. dun like it at all.. and siah hong's face was so black.. can tell he is really very unhappy.. was quite scared actually.. asked him somethings, his answer was kinda short and cold.. was very very angry that time. wanted to scold him.. dun vent anger on others.. u will make people even angrier and fustrated.. and after that zhou lao shi asked me to play one particular part.. that song was da li qing feng. jsut practised once with the others and not very sure yet.. till now still not very stable.. though i know the song is easy.. so couldnt play some part, not familiar.. zhou lao shi was very unhappy.. then said my yangqin not in tune.. so wanted me to tune.. but seriously i dun have perfect tune.. dunno exactly if the note is too high or not.. sometimes at home i can hear.. but under pressure and got frightened, i cant hear anything.. but he asked me to tune.. turned left right, wanted to borrow tuner but no one does anything to help me.. really felt so terrible.. after that just anyhow tuned.. then he asked me to play dunno mi la doe.. then doe re mi.. and unfortunately, i really cant communicate using doe re mi.. i have to use fingers to count doe re mi fa soh la ti doe.. and get the number.. then obviously i dunno what is he saying and somemore quite frantic that time.. then he got even more pissed off.. then i said i really cant communicate using doe re mi.. then he asked me what language i want him to speak.. is not that language! i can understand very quickly using abc.. since my theory also passed grade eight.. he always like that one.. dun let others explain and would think we are argueing with him.. felt so "yuan wang".. but what to do. and that female teacher kept looking when we play.. somemore she is just diagonally opposite me.. so i saw her looking at me when i play.. got freak out. then zhou lao shi suddenly asked me.. in chinese of course.. u are very vain right? i answered no lah. then he said must be lah.. if not u wouldnt put on braces.. hey.. that's so .. suan-ning me.. was quite hurt, sad, angry.. if i can change the timing of the appointment, i would immediately do so right? of course i m worried for the nac too.. i dun wanna let the other members down by playing rubbish during the competition.. but the dentist's schedule is so packed.. i asked b4 and if i were to change appointment date, i would have to change to next yr, 2005.. thats too far away.. by then perhaps my teeth has already overshot the position where it should be.. since this time i very disciplined, always put on the rubber bands and floss my teeth..
today might be the last practice b4 the rehearsal.. i have promised myself to practise hard for the nac.. really hard.. though zhou lao shi might not be able to hear how much i have improved, the hard work is not to please him or prove him that i can do it.. i just dun wanna let myself down, its for myself.. not for anyone.. no one knows never mind, as long as i know can already.. i will feel the sense of satisfaction and happy for myself..
but still feel sad about the whole thingy.. feel very unstable.. somemore next week i will be quite busy.. its like each day i have this and that.. have to rush here and there.. sometimes two activities overlap.. worried.. felt discouraged when the teachers are not confident of us.. nvm, i think eventually we all will still make it one! practise practise.. feel so horrible cos i always ask myself what m i doing this for.. any rewards or stuff.. its like i sacrifice so much but yet the reward might be sooo little.. insignificant as compared with the amount of hard work i put in.. will feel unfair and wouldnt feel happy or right til the problem is solved.. but guess this time i gonna really dun think about all this and just practise and practise and practise.. just practise aimlessly and make sure i play well.. hope like that i will be happy in the end..
bernice wished upon a star at 10:23 p.m.
job attach day 5last day of my attachment. not really cos the doc very nice, ask me to go back on next tues and wed i think.. cos he says i very poor thing, didnt get to see much this week cos no giving birth.. only interesting thing is the major operation. so going back again. took a few photos with the nurses and doc and some pictures of the clinic. oh.. its raining now.. everyday rain.. very nice to sleep yet i cant sleep.. cant sleep in the clinic.. the first patient in the morning had d and c.. took out the polyps. quite scary and gross actually..
then got one patient, kindergarden teacher. she is so scared of op, testing, etc. everything also not keen though she has some growths inside and it is still growing.. after that the doc told me he almost wanna discharge her from his care cos cant treat her if she is not keen in all the different treatments to help her. ya, quite true.. i better persuade my daddy and mummy to do check up.. both of them are so scared to go for annual check up or see doc when they have pain in somewhere.. they are not scared of the pain but more of the cost i guess.. cos they always think that all those check up very ex and if anything goes wrong, they have to undergo all sort of testing, blood test, operation etc and it will add to a bomb.. but quite true leh.. got a lady, she just wanna do a check up for fun. in the end found some fibroids i think, and got transferred to dr chan.. and she has to go for an op.. then dr chan jokingly said she is looking for trouble.. haha.. but quite worried for my dad though cos he is very "think skinned", can bear all the pain to a very great extent..
so fast, a week has gone and tomorrow there is co practice again.. and its until five.. but after that meeting yinting.. can share with her what i see and how i feel.. tell my mum will be worse, she will interrupt me and tell me about her story.. like last time, very last time, what happened to her etc and what the newspaper said, her friends said, radio said, aunties said etc... in the end, i listened to her instead of sharing with her.. irritating.. my dad is even worse.. i like talking to a piece of wood.. he just sits on the floor, leans against the sofa with a cushion to put both his legs and read newspaper.. and as usual, always read from the back.. and my mum always say he is very weird.. he eats also eats from his backside.. but my dad just remained as he is, reading newspaper.. think he has reached the peak of isolation.. maybe he has trained himslef for thirty years.. th art of isolation, the best solution when my mum is scolding him or nagging at him.. i am trying to learn that too.. quite effective.. haha.. he just came back and i have to type something for him again.. the worst thing is he cant express himself well.. so sometimes both of us very pek chek.. and got pissed off with each other.. haha.. he is here.. got to stop.. hehe..
bernice wished upon a star at 11:30 p.m.
job attach day4today was the fourth day of my attachment.. hmm.. actually fifth..
today still no labour for me to watch.. but i witnessed a major operation. i was so excited the whole day.. just because of the op. but dr chan was late for the op cos got too many patients. so we went there at around ten thirty. i followed winy to changing room. she gave me the green dress and ask me to change into that.. remove everything too..i nodded my head.. went into the toilet then realise that i dunno what is remove everything.. does it mean i really have to remove everything.. but only left with that green dress? or just remove my clothes only.. ai yo.. think and think.. in the end i only took off my clothes and change into that green dress.. wear that head thingy and went into the op room. on the way, a lady asked me if i have a visitor pass. she is very nice and cute.. always smiling and talk very cutely. so i went in with winy.. i felt so "occupy space" there. cos everyone so busy, walking here and there.. i dunno where to stand and stood one corner but sometimes they might ask me to excuse them.. so i have to move here and there aimlessly.. the feeling not good.. but got another doc who does the injection.. he is very nice.. always asking me to stand atthe right place and also to get a good view of what the doc is doing.. and he looks very relaxed.. so at least i see him, i wouldnt get so tensed up. so dr chan starts the op. he inflated the patient's tummy with dunno hydrogen or carbon dioxide.. cant really remember.. the tummy looks like a balloon..
that poor lady.. saw her on tues.. she came all the way from indonesia.. she has got fibroids in the uterus and everywhere i think.. dr chan, judy and me got a shock when we see her fibroids and polids..it can be seen outside.. as in when you open up and see, can clearly see her two fibroids.. very huge, like grapes.. bigger than grapes. but she is still very calm.. really admire her.
after inflating her tummy, dr chan cut three holes to opke those metal tubings through. the middle one for the camera and video. the two side ones for cutting etc. so the monitor all these through the tv. dr chan first burn those vessels that are bleeding.. to stop the bleeding.. then cut off all the ligaments or vessels that are supplying blood to the ovaries, uterus.. heard him saying afew times that the case was more complicated that what he thought. was tougher. cos i think all the affected regions are very close to other organs.. so might affect them if not careful and burn the wrong thing. after all these cutting to free the whole uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries, the doc worked on the bottom.. but that lady bled alot.. so was quite dangerous and think everyone was abit worried too.. cos theythought it was an easy case. i saw the blood flowing out.. of everywhere..
dr chan moved to work from her vagina there.. tried to pull out the thingy inside but it is still attached to some parts of the body.. so dr chan continued freeing it by burning and cutting.. suddenly he pulled out a lump of bloody stuff.. thats the whole uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries.. i was quite shocked.. its quite big..and its very solid cos of the many many fibroids that have developed inside.. i was just standing infront of it.. its on the table.. dunno how i feel also.. really dunno.. was like.. wow! that thingy is actually so big in our body.. and also quite gross.. but feel happy for that lady.. after that dr chan stitch back those opening and others started packing and cleaning.. so i stood there again, not knowing what to do and occasionally someone will ask me to stand there at one corner.. then another will ask me to stand somewhere else.. saw that lady lying there.. like a tailored doll.. really.. and dr chan is the tailor.. after that went out of the room to have lunch. after coming out of the kitchen, saw that lady lying on the bed. she was awake. i smiled to her. dunno if she could regconise me.. but guess i would feel better if i were her and a person smiled to me..
just now had dinner.. didnt dare to eat fish, frog leg and chicken. the worse is the chiken wing.. once i cut it up, saw the blood inside and immediately thought of the surgery.. really feel like puking.. but seriously i think its quite cruel to eat other animals. i see that lady's uterus.. its just like any other organ of the pig's .. really .. especially like that heart.. it looks the same to me.. and i think chicken feet is the worse.. so gross. u are actually eating a feet.. and i see so many babies' feet.. five toes.. through the scanning.. eee... we are really no different from those animals.. as in physically wise and body, whats inside the body.. looks the same to me leh.. haiz..
bernice wished upon a star at 12:11 a.m.
job attach day3today was half day at the clinic. there were two indian lady who came to look for dr chan. they just came to singapore for eight months. that patient told dr chan what happened in india, like the operation and what the doc there did and said. then dr chan scanned her. but after she lay on the bed, she starting crying already.. wanted to insert the scanner thingy, she was so tensed up that dr chan couldnt put in. dr chan didnt ask me to go in and see or ask for that lady's permission cos she was already so terrified. so i stayed outside and kept hearing them asking her to relax, buttock down, sit on her buttock. dr chan kept saying that she is hurting herself if she is so tensed up and kept gripping. and also kept promising her that that will cause zero pain. so she kept crying and crying.. finally they came out and that lady was still very upset. she was so afraid of letting her husband know. she thought her husband might scold her for not letting him know about this , that she has multiple growth and very huge ones.. nearing rupturing.. she was afraid cos they just got married.. and all this has caused her not being able to conceive. so though they tried and very sexually active, married for eight months still hasnt get any babies. perhaps she was afraid thather husband might say she is lying to him. so she kept emphasisng to dr chan that when her husband and dr chan met up for dr chan to explain to him face to face, dr chan has to be very careful as she doesnt want this to affect their relationship. and also has to emphasize that this is actually reoccurance. she kept crying and crying.. leave the room also cry.. i see already also feel like crying.. but controlled myself.
then got another patient who came with her husband. her fetus is not growing at all. and today check, there was no heart beat at all. so its misabortion and the baby has to be removed. after that got another patient who came alone also same case. she went to other hospital and the doc said still got hope. but today scan, there is really no hope at all. there was no heartbeat at all. so dr chan just said as a matter of fact and tell her to wash it off. she was terribly upset.. she cried..she thought there was still hope but now, really no hope, the baby is not living at all.. she really break down and very upset. so the nurse brought her to the room beside for her to calm down. she called her husband and really screamed while she was telling her husband.. can hear her say.. our baby is gone!!! my tears already going to drop after seeing her cry.. so poor thing.. but dr chan siad she over reacted.. perhaps the doctors and nurses see many of such, so quite normal to them.
tomorrow got a major op to see.. so really looking forward to that. =) finally get to see something new. but so far no giving birth yet.. sigh.. no babies want to see me..
after that went to watch incredible. but i fell asleep halfway.. when that mr incredible went to somewhere far to work.. then earn alot of money.. duno leh.. sleeping anyway.. eq woke me up and after that i never sleep anymore.. haha.. very nice show.. though the storyline abit like those powerpuff one.. haha.. but i like. and i like small jack alot!! soo cute.. haha.. wanted to buy the mac pillow and the pther thingy with small jack one.. but mum refused.. say my house too many soft toys.. so maybe next time bdae cannot have anymore soft toys.. so sad..
bernice wished upon a star at 8:35 p.m.
job attach day2today was not too bad. at least never get scolding from dr chan. today, like yesterday, all the scanning.. got one has to scrap off her thick uterus lining..quite scary.. she kept saying its very pain.. ya, can understand, imagine a few long metal thingy being pushed into ur.. ya, very pain.. and scrape somemore.. then got some scanning of the baby.. during lunch break, i stayed in the clinic cos i brought bread to eat.. with the nurse judy. she looks so young like in thirties but actually she is already a grandma of two. so shocking. she showed me ur grandson's photo yesterday. i was asking her your son ah.. then she said no, is grandson. got a shock. then the other nurse came in with her sister-in-law. we watched a video. see wad happenes in the stomach, small intestine and large intestine when the doc tries to get rid of those growth in it. her sis-in-law just went to do this op. she was like.. so disgusting.. next time must eat properly. but really, quite er.. yucks.. the doc just used a clipper. locate the growth first then use the clipper to pull the growth away. pull out.. then the blood will flow out into the intestines together with the liquid, mucus in the intestines..
then after lunch got an indonesian lady got mutiple growth near her uterus, vagina.. can really see from outside when the doc opened up.so got to op. remove the whole uterus..poor thing.. hope i get to see dr chan op. i think i very unlucky. after i came, all the babies dun wanna show their faces. either hide or use their hands to cover their faces. so cant see clearly. then the business also not very good according to the doc and nurses